shades of grey

i'm starting to like grey now. cos that's how i've learned to see things. nothing is purely bad or good. its always tainted. with something.

incoherence. that seems to be a word largely associated with me. unfortunately.

i think you're sick and tired of hearing me repeat the same thing over and over again. i'm sick of hearing it myself. but i can't stop. i really can't stop. i try, but it all comes bubbling out. shrugs.

i miss london. the cold crisp air. cloudy skies. getting swallowed into the crowds, losing myself in the structured madness. the smell of baking bread wafting out of bakeries. english breakfast. pastries. feeling so at home there. so right. acceptance. pretty british lads. the pigeons. i love the london subway. you can sit on it for hours and never reach the end.

displaced. like i don't really belong.

Alone on a train aimless in wonder
An outdated map crumbled in my pocket
But I didn't care where I was going
'Cause they're all different names for the same place.

The coast disappeared when the sea drowned the sun
And I knew no words to share with anyone
The boundaries of language I quietly cursed
And all the different names for the same thing

There are different names for the same things
There are different names for the same things...

: different names for the same thing :: death cab for cutie :
its such a haunting song.